Hats off to the prose

I have a whole new appreciation for professional writers. Journalists do not have the luxury of sitting on a piece for months until the mood strikes. They produce quality work with regularity.

I intentionally placed pressure on myself to write new chapters for "Writing Between the Nodes", my non-fiction book proposal. I wanted the experience of creating and editing a volume of work within set boundaries. Although it is far from the daily grind of a newspaper columnist or reporter, writing on a deadline is far different than writing at one's leisure.

In the first week, I wrote a draft Introduction along with six draft chapters. In the following two weeks, I drafted two additional chapters and edited five previously drafted chapters. The last few days have been devoted to the Introduction, which oddly, caused the most trouble for me as referenced in my previous post.

So what did I learn? First of all, writing is hard work. There is a mental fatigue that lingers well after completing an ambitious assignment. But, there is a sense of satisfaction and a very strange urge to "get up and do it again", following Jackson Browne's tag line with a slight twist.

For me, it was a different sensation than completing a fiction manuscript, or a major edit of a manuscript. There is a certain finality with a manuscript, not knowing if you will return for another edit. And again for me, there is a short period of depression following a large project. I had a similar experience as a project manager. It's hard to explain, but it is like part of you is missing.

This project is somehow different. Perhaps it is knowing it may not be over. That will, of course, depend on my ability to convince a publisher that I have a marketable idea. There is no post project melancholy. But, although I feel satisfied at having completed an interim task, there is also no great feeling of accomplishment. It is held in limbo, waiting for some indication that my work was on target. Perhaps then I might break out the Welch's grape juice. Champagne would be nice, but the stepwise progression of a book proposal does not rise to the level of Moet Chandon. That level of celebration is reserved for a larger goal.

I can honestly say there were moments when I'd lost my way. I succumbed briefly to self doubt, wondering if it would result in catastrophe. I questioned the writer's "voice" I had used to prepare the initial chapters and fell headlong into a rendition of Ben Stein there for a while. I can thank my writer's group for helping me to "snap out of it". I always envision Cher slapping a young Nicolas Cage for some reason when I think of that line.

Then, I could no longer read my work objectively. I must admit, that was a little scary. It seemed like I was writing just to put words on a page. Was it the early onset of Alzheimer's? I don't think so. I think it was writer's fatigue. What was I talking about? Hmmmmm.....it'll come back to me. I hope.